Personal Reflections on Serving as a CISM Team Member

Rabbi Richard Perlman/ICISF, Inc. 

There is nothing more profound than looking into the eyes of a first responder and seeing a silent, nonverbal “thank you” reflected back at me. Since joining the NEMLEC CISM team in 2018, with advanced training, serving with the Greater Boston CISM Team, as well as acting as a chaplain for the Massachusetts State Police, I’ve had the honor of participating in numerous debriefings. Sometimes I serve as a team member or chaplain; other times, I step in to lead or support in the absence of a clinician. I’ve also worked solo when a specific intervention was needed. Each time I leave a session, I look to the heavens and offer a prayer of gratitude to our Creator for entrusting me with such sacred work. I thank God for the strength to serve as an effective CISM facilitator. And I thank God for the courage of our first responders—those who speak their truths with vulnerability and integrity, making a lasting impact on all who serve alongside them. There are moments in life when words fail, when the weight of grief, shock, or trauma renders even the most eloquent among us silent. It is in those moments that the work of a CISM team begins, not with answers, but with presence. Serving as a CISM team member has been one of the most humbling and humanizing experiences of my professional life. It is a role that demands not only training and discipline, but also deep empathy, patience, and the ability to hold space for others in their most vulnerable hours. We are not there to fix what has happened. We are there to walk alongside those who are hurting, to offer a steady hand and a listening ear when the world feels unsteady. CISM is not therapy. It is not a solution. It is a structured, peer-driven process that helps individuals and groups begin to process the emotional aftermath of a critical incident. Whether responding to a line-of-duty death, a traumatic accident, or a community tragedy, our goal is to reduce the long-term impact of stress and to foster resilience. What I’ve learned is that presence, genuine, grounded, and nonjudgmental, is often more powerful than any words we might offer. Sometimes, just sitting in silence with someone who has experienced the unimaginable is the most meaningful act of support. One of the most sacred aspects of this work is the opportunity to bear witness. To hear someone’s story, raw, unfiltered, and often painful, is a privilege. It is not easy. There are days when the weight of what we carry home is heavy. But there is also a quiet strength that comes from knowing that, in some small way, we helped someone take their first step toward healing. I’ve sat with first responders who’ve lost colleagues, with healthcare workers and fellow chaplains overwhelmed by the toll of their calling, and with community members grappling with sudden loss. Each encounter is different, but the common thread is the need to be seen, heard, and understood. This work has taught me more about humanity than any textbook ever could. It has shown me the resilience of the human spirit, the depth of compassion that can emerge in crisis, and the importance of community in the face of adversity. It has also reminded me that we are all, at our core, fragile and strong in equal measure. That even those who appear unshakable have moments of doubt and pain. And that healing is not linear, it is a winding path that requires patience, grace, and support. Being part of a CISM team is not about recognition. It is about service. It is about showing up when it matters most, often behind the scenes, and offering a lifeline to those navigating the storm. It is a quiet commitment to the well-being of others, rooted in empathy and guided by the belief that no one should have to face trauma alone. And we do this with the help of our beloved and caring Creator. As I reflect on my time in this role, I am filled with gratitude, for the trust placed in me, for the colleagues who share this calling, and for the countless individuals who have allowed me to walk with them, even briefly, through the most difficult moments in life.        Rabbi Richard Perlman – Milford, Massachusetts 

• Member, NEMLEC Critical Incident Stress Management CISM Team
• Member, Greater Boston CISM Team
• Chaplain, Peabody Police Department, Peabody, MA
• Chaplain, Massachusetts State Police
• Rabbi Emeritus, Temple Ner Tamid, Peabody, MA